Goal Setting

Goal setting, if done wisely, can be a very effective means, not only of improving our productivity, but also of improving our well-being. Also, writing a goal down increases the likelihood of completing the goal by 70%! Like many things in life, the destination is not always as important as the journey. Grit is another support of goal achievement. Having a committed goal pursuit (shooting for something) can:

• Increase a sense of purpose and control in life
• Increase self esteem, the belief we can make significant changes in our lives / world
• Add structure and interest to our daily lives
• Help us learn to strategize and prioritize our time
• Keep us grounded in crisis
• Bring us into contact with others

Instructions

• First, decide if you are making a goal for:
  • Project Goals: A well defined, usually short term (year or less) project type goal
  • Life Goal: Such as being a better partner or parent

• Project Goals are best outlined use the SMARTER goal template. Ask yourself the following questions:
  • Specific – What in the smallest steps possible, do I want to do?
  • Measurable – What can you measure, with numbers, to see if progress is being made?
  • Achievable –  Do I have the resources to achieve my goal? Time, money, emotional energy, etc.?
  • Relevant – What do I hope to get out of completing this goal?
  • Timely – By when will the goal show results?
  • Evaluated – How will I know I achieved my goal?
  • Reviewed – What did I learn, how did I grow, and what new goals may I have now?

Ex.: I will park in the back of the parking lot 5 times this week before it’s too hot to train myself for longer walks for the next month. I will track my data in an app and see if walking becomes easier to do.

• Life Goals are best begun by building up hope and motivation with the WOOP template, then defining the (very) flexible plan by asking ourselves 3 questions.
  • WOOP
    • Wish – Think of a meaningful and attainable wish
    • Outcome – Imagine you are already experiencing the wish as strongly as possible!
    • Obstacle – Quickly afterward, think of internal obstacles holding you back, clearly and strongly
    • Plan – Create if / then plans for when you encounter those obstacles
  • Now that we are more likely to follow through with our goal because we’ve Wooped it up!, ask yourself these questions.
    • Rather than what my goal is, ask why do I have this goal?
    • Rather than being good, ask how can I be better  than I am now?
    • If,
      • we need to focus on details and avoid distractions or temptations, ask how do we prevent not achieving our goal?
      • we want to try new things, increase creativity or optimism, and value speed over accuracy, ask how well can I do?

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.