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Building New Habits

This is the super / life hack that is the base of all other changes, how to make new habits.




  • Chunk down your new habit into the smallest goal possible. You won’t eat the whole elephant today, start with small bites, then when bundled together are large changes.
  • Set a trigger or cue to do the new thing. An alarm, post it note, etc.
  • Do the new thing.
  • Give yourself a positive emotional reward. You’re Pavloving yourself, the stronger the reward, and the quicker it is given, the stronger the habit. This can be a brief internal imaging of your “new self”, fist bump, self high five, positive affirmations, etc.

A lot of self help resources say it takes “X days” to build a habit. How long it takes to build a habit depends on a number of factors, one of the biggest is how powerful and how quickly you give yourself a dopamine hit by giving yourself a positive emotional reward.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to me here.