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Savoring

Coping is how we respond to adverse events and difficult things. Savoring is coping when things go right. Savoring is the process of attending to, appreciating and enhancing positive experiences.” A second order kind of reflecting back on or being conscious of an experience and how we might influence that experience either as we’re having it or after / before it occurs.

When can we savor a moment?

  • Savoring the Future
    • This is anticipatory – plans, goals, fantasies
    • This can diminish actual moment when not lived up to, be careful and monitor expectations
  • Savoring the Moment
    • Be present and look at the present moment with gratitude
  • Savoring the Past (reminiscing)
    • Don’t substitute living in the past for the present though

6 Factors that influence the practice of Savoring

  • Duration of experience
    • Make time for it
    • Create a supportive pace to savor, can’t rush it.
  • Stress level
    • It can be hard to savor things when we’re stressed.
  • Complexity
    • Depends on the context if adding elements to or taking them out help to savor a moment.  Such as removing loud video games when watching a sunset or adding music to a family meal.
  • Attention and focus
    • Try to be more present in the moment being savored.
  • Self monitoring
    • We can’t force ourselves to enjoy things, you can check within yourself and be grateful. Rate your appreciation of the moment on a scale of 1-10.
  • Social connection
    • When you share a moment you are savoring with others, are they receptive?

 

4 Kinds of Savoring

  • World Focused – experiences that connect us with something beyond our individual selves. 2 kinds:
    • Thanksgiving, gratitude
    • Marveling, awe
  • Self Focused – experiences that connect us with something within ourselves, like our talents, our hard work, perhaps our personality, or our behavior, or something about our physical body. 2 Kinds:
    • Basking, feelings of pride
    • Luxuriating, pleasure

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.