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Why You Shouldn't Go Alone: Importance of Personal Community

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Why You Shouldn’t Go Alone: Importance of Personal Community

When it comes to non-monogamy, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they feel alone. They may have a few close friends who are also non-monogamous, but for the most part, they feel like they’re the only ones doing this thing. A lack of personal community can be isolating, so community building is imperative. Strong community is linked to our mental health. Social isolation is among the top causes of depression in the world. We are social creatures who thrive off of social interactions with people with common interests. This article will discuss the importance of a strong community and why you should never go at it alone.

What is a Personal Community?

A personal community is a group of like-minded people you can rely on for support, advice, and meaningful connections. A sense of real community can be vital if you’re non-monogamous, as you may not have the same support network that monogamous people do. For example, your family and friends may not understand your non-monogamous lifestyle and may be unable to provide the support you need, leading to a feeling of social isolation. Filling this gap is where a personal community, a.k.a. a family of choice, can come in handy. Providing a sense of true community and meaningful connections.

Building a personal community can take many forms. You may have a group of close friends you can talk to about anything, or you may be part of an online community where you can chat with people from all over the world becoming part of a global community. Whatever form it takes, having an important community is vital for non-monogamous people .

Why do I Need a Personal Community?

There are many reasons why you may need a personal community. First and foremost, it can provide support and friendship when you need it most. If you’re feeling isolated or alone, your community can be there to lift you back up. Like-minded people who have been in your situation before and understand the way that romantic relationships work in non-monogamy, and not leave you feeling judged.

Additionally, a healthy community can offer advice and perspective on various non-monogamy-related topics. Your community can offer valuable insights if you’re trying to figure out how to tell your partner about your non-monogamy or struggling with jealousy, or help you come up with new ideas on how to work around conflicting needs of partners.

Finally, a personal community can be a great way to meet new people with shared interests. If you’re new to non-monogamy or looking to meet more non-monogamous people, your social networks can be an important resource.

How Do I Build a Personal Community for Myself?

Building a personal community can seem daunting, but there are a few easy ways to get started.

First, find some non-monogamous friends. Finding friends can be easier said than done, but if you have even one non-monogamous friend, you’re well on your way to building a personal community. You can meet non-monogamous friends through virtual communities, dating apps, or even in real life. Once you’ve found a few non-monogamous friends, you can build deeper meaningful connections with them.

Second, get involved in the non-monogamy community. There are many ways to do this, but some of the most popular include attending non-monogamy events, joining virtual communities, and following non-monogamous bloggers. Getting involved in the non-monogamy community is a great way to meet new people and learn more about non-monogamy.

Finally, ask for help when you need it. If you’re struggling to build a personal community, or if you’re struggling with non-monogamy in general, there’s no shame in asking for help. You can reach out to non-monogamy bloggers, therapists, or your close friends and family.

What If It’s Hard For Me to Meet New People?

You can do a few things if you’re having trouble meeting new people or feeling shy about getting involved in the non-monogamy community.

First, try attending non-monogamy events with a trusted friend or acquaintance. These are typically social events where non-monogamous like-minded people can mingle and get to know each other. These places are usually very welcoming and inclusive, so they’re a great way to meet new people and have a great time exploring similar interests.

Second, try joining virtual communities. Social media has completely changed the way we’re able to communicate within communities. There are many non-monogamy-related groups and forums online where you can chat with other non-monogamous people worldwide with common interests. Using the internet for social networking can be a great way to make social connections.

Plenty of apps are available at our fingertips to find new personal community members. We can look for others to form a shared social connection through friendship apps, like Bumble BFF, or dating apps, like Feeld and Hinge, that are friendly toward ethically non-monogamous, open, and polyamorous relationships.

It’s okay to feel nervous about new things; the important part is trying despite the fear.

What If I Still Can’t Build a Personal Community?

If you’ve tried everything and you’re still struggling to build a strong community, there are a few other options.

First, consider seeking out therapy or counseling. Counseling is an excellent option if you’re struggling with non-monogamy-related issues, such as jealousy, insecurity or social isolation. A therapist can help you work through these issues to build healthy relationships and a stronger sense of self to put ourselves out there.

Second, consider reaching out to non-monogamy bloggers or thought leaders. These people have a lot of experience with non-monogamy and are usually more than happy to help others who are struggling. You can reach out to them through social media or their websites.

Don’t give up hope. It can take time to build a personal community, but it’s worth the effort. Keep trying new things, and eventually, you’ll find the perfect community for you.

Remember, if you’re struggling with non-monogamy, you’re not alone. There is a global community who are here to support you. You can find them if you keep looking.

I serve individuals who live in Houston, Texas and throughout the state, with a specialized focus on those who are polyamorous, non-monogamous, members of the LGBT+ community, or otherwise alternatively inclined. My mission is to help those who struggle to accept themselves or live authentically. Together, we will work to rewrite your future to let your true self out.


Have you ever struggled to build a personal community? What tips would you add? Let us know in the comments!


Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.