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Managing Gridlock When Stuck in Problem Solving

This exercise can help us work towards understanding and validating our partner’s perspective and feelings. Use Co-Summarizing skills.

Questions to Ask the Speaker About the Ideal Solution to This Problem

  1. Tell me your ideal solution to this problem (do not worry about being realistic—remember, no problem-solving).
  2. Describe what makes solving this important. (What is at stake?)
  3. Are there any strong personal beliefs or values you have about this issue?
  4. What would it mean to you to have this problem solved?
  5. What would be the worst thing if this did not get better?
  6. What do you imagine things would be like if this ideal solution were to actually happen?
  7. Does this issue relate to your history in some way (in your family or other relationships)?
  8. Are there any feelings you have left out?

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.