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Injury and Healing

Injury and Healing


This exercise is designed for you to write about some aspects of your own life and your own personality that will help you and your partner understand you better. In your own notebook, answer the following questions as candidly as you can. Then if you like, share your answers with your partner.



What Difficult events have you gone through in your life?

  • Write down the story of the psychological insults and injuries you have sustained in your life, your losses, disappointments, trials, and tribulations. Include periods of stress and duress, as well as quieter periods of despair, hopelessness, and loneliness that you have been through.
  • These events might have been traumatic or partially traumatic and stressful. They might include your childhood or your adult life. They may be periods of no power, humiliating events or people, events of molestation, abuse, rape, or torture. They may include previous, harmful relationships.
  • How have you coped and gotten through these events and periods in your life? How have you endured? What were the lasting effects on you of going through these things?
  • How did you strengthen and heal yourself? How did you redress your grievances? How did you revive and restore yourself?
  • How did you gird and protect yourself against this ever happening to you again? What were the means you established inside you for renewal, healing, and self-protection?
  • How do these injuries and the ways you protect and heal yourself affect your relationship today? What do you want your partner to know and understand about these aspects of yourself?


Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.