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Ask Open-Ended Questions

Ask Open-Ended Questions


The next step in knowing your partner is to ask questions that deepen your understanding of them.


“Did you call the plumber today?” is not a question that tells you much about your partner’s internal world.


Try asking, “If you had all the money in the world, what would your dream house be like?” You’d find out something entirely different. Open-ended questions have stories for answers—and layers of meaning that can help you understand the heart of who your partner is.


Try using the Gottman Card Decks found here.


Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.