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Recovery and Compromise Ovals

Like the Art of Compromise, this exercise is meant to explore compromise from the lenses of what one can be flexible on, what is inflexible, and what is needed for health in creating compromise for a relationships challenge.


  • Each person writes their own 3 ovals and fills them out individually
  • The inner oval represents inflexible needs or values around this challenge, things which can not be compromised on without resentment.
  • The middle oval represents individual needs in recovery as related to the challenge being discussed. Consider
    • Does this plan support recovery, how?
    • Could this plan hurt recovery, how?
    • Is this plan neutral to recovery, how?
  • The outer oval represents areas it is safe and you feel you could be flexible with in compromise.
  • Come together for a compare and contrast, working towards a temporary compromise for a challenge you will likely discuss many times.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to me here.