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CPR for Couples

Substance Use
Posted: April 1, 2023

Also known as a compliment sandwich, we present a conversation and bid with a partner with a Compliment, Problem, and Request (CPR).

Instructions

  • Compliment
    • Reflect on and share what is working. “The thing(s) I believe are going well…”
    • Share what it means to you and what you appreciate about it (Gratitude List)
    • “What I appreciate about what is going well is (are) ____ because ______.”
  • Problems
    • Present the challenge you would like to discuss.
      • What would you like to be different?
      • What are your needs? (Time, money, resources, emotional, etc.)
      • Describe the situation as you see it, avoiding labeling and “always / never”. Focus on what is important to you.
  • Request
    • State what you would like to happen.

I feel [emotion] about [event, not partner], I need [clear, concrete, positive need], thank you.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.

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