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Behavior Exchange

Behavior Exchange


This exercise will help partners deepen their understanding of what each would like from the other in order to turn towards each other more specifically and build their emotional bank account.




Each partner will grab a notepad and something to write with.


  • Partner A: Guess what your partner would like for you to do for them in the following week and say it out loud.


  • Partner B: Respond whether or not Partner A has guessed correctly.


  • If the guess is correct, Partner A writes it down. See how many correct guesses you can make and write down each one, and use it to update your Love Map understanding. Then trade places. 


  • Once you have compiled your list, each of you will commit to doing at least one thing from your list for your partner in the coming week.

  • When your partner has “done the thing” consider practicing Receiving Gratitude.


Many couples often focus on acts of service, remember, there are 5 Love Languages.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.