Active Constructive Responding

Active Constructive Responding (ACR) is a way of responding when someone shares good experiences or information. If the receiver of the good news actively and constructively responds it can often provide a boost in wellbeing to both people involved in the conversation. Important aspects include open nonverbal communication, maintaining eye contact, displays of positive emotions such as genuine smiling, touching, and laughing.

1. In the moment, identify when a partner is reporting a positive event.
2. Begin with positive affirmations such as, “that’s awesome, you worked hard for this, you should be proud of yourself.”
3. Ask open ended questions guiding the partner to identify positives in the event such as, “what made this easy for you, what are you most proud of?”
4. Ask open ended questions guiding your partner to relieve the event such as, “what was it like when you go the good news, paint the scene for me, how did you feel?”
5. Find a way to celebrate the good news with your partner.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.