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Strengths Conversation / Date

This exercise is meant to help you build love maps by understanding each other’s strengths, build positive sentiment by highlighting how each other supports the relationship, and reduce stress by talking about something other than challenges in the relationship.




  • Identify your Signature Strengths by going to the VIA Survey of Character Strengths here.


  • Go here to learn more about your Signature Strengths.


  • Here is an example of the signature strengths in a relationship.  In the one below, write down your strengths matrix.


AllieCodyPartner 3 (and so on)
Signature Strength 1:CreativityCreativity
Signature Strength 2:FairnessHope
Signature Strength 3:PerspectiveAppreciation of Beauty
Signature Strength 4:KindnessLove of Learning
Signature Strength 5:    Love of LearningGratitude


  Partner 1   Partner 2   Partner 3 (and so on)
Signature Strength 1:
Signature Strength 2:
Signature Strength 3:
Signature Strength 4:
Signature Strength 5:


  • Discuss how any overlaps are expressed the same or differently from each other, how we can support each other with our strengths, and how you can help each other grow / practice their strengths.


  • Go on a Strength Date. Plan an event and choose a strength to practice on the date.


Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.