Building Rituals of Re/Connection
Rituals of Connections and Reconnections (say, after one partner comes back from a date?) needs to be thought out and planned between partners. An example of a Ritual of Connection is greeting each other at the end of the day. Will there be a hug? A kiss (The Gottman Institute loves kisses of at least 6 seconds)? Questions like, “What were your highs?” “Your lows?” Y’all can decide which rituals you’d like to include in your lives together using this exercise.
Script these carefully so each person knows what they are supposed to do and when. This includes entry into the ritual, the roles each person will have in the ritual, and it’s ending. Discuss and write rituals that work for you.
Consider pieces such as:
- When will it happen?
- How often?
- Where?
- Who will initiate it?
- How will it unfold?
- How will it end?
Questions to ask to design the ritual:
- What is meaningful about this for you?
- When will this be done?
- How often will it be done?
- How long should it last each time?
- Who will initiate it?
- Who will do what in this ritual?
- What will happen next?
- How will it end?
- How can we integrate this into our lives so we can count on it?
Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.