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Conflict Management Styles

Conflict Management Styles


I will ask you to take this assessment to identify which of the 5 conflict management styles you work with the most and which you work with the least. Each one has pros and cons, we will work towards taking advantage of the pros and minimizing the cons. 


Privacy Notice: This form will record your email so that I can track your results and send them to you. 



Take the Assessment here.


Answer the following questions for yourself:


  • My preferred conflict management style is: _______________________________


  • The conflict management style I would like to work on is: ____________________


  • How can I practice this conflict management style? 

___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ 


The 5 Conflict Management Styles


  • Collaborators highly value both their goals and their relationships. They view conflict as a problem to be solved and seek a solution that achieves both their goals and the goals  of the other person. Owls see conflicts as a means of improving relationships by reducing  tensions between two persons. They try to begin a discussion that identifies the conflict as a  problem, and strive to resolve tensions and maintain the relationship by seeking solutions that  satisfy both themselves and the other person.


  • Avoiders tend to value avoiding confrontation more than either their goals or  relationships. They often find it easier to withdraw from a conflict than to face it. This might  even include completely giving up relationships or goals that are associated with the conflict.


  • Competitors  typically value their goals over relationships, meaning that if forced to  choose, they would seek to achieve their goals even at the cost of the relationship  involved. Sharks are typically more concerned with accomplishing their goals than with being  liked by others. They might try to force opponents to accept their solution to the conflict by  overpowering them.


  • Accommodators typically value relationships over their own goals; if forced to choose,  Teddy Bears will often sacrifice their goals in order to maintain relationships. Teddy  Bears generally want to be liked by others, and prefer to avoid conflict because they believe  addressing it will damage relationships. Teddy Bears try to smooth over conflict to prevent  damage to the relationship.


  • Compromisers are moderately concerned with both their goals and their relationships with  others. Foxes typically seek a compromise; they give up part of their goals and  persuade the other person in a conflict to give up part of their goals. They seek a conflict  solution in which both sides gain something; the middle ground between two extreme  positions. They are willing to sacrifice part of their goals in order to find agreement for the  common good.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.