Agreement Testing Meditation

Introduced by the Gottman Institute, sometimes in relationships we make agreements we honestly shouldn’t for a variety of reasons. Here is a way to test as  you consider the agreement if it is one you can allow for yourself.

Instructions

2. First, think of something that is fundamentally true for yourself such as, “I love puppies / kittens”.
3. Close your eyes, take a few deep, calming breaths and clear your mind.
4. Say to yourself the opposite of your truth, 10 times, with as much conviction as you can. Such as “I hate puppies / kittens!”.
5. Take note of how your body feels, what sensations are there?
6. Again, close your eyes, take a few deep, calming breaths and clear your mind.
7. Say your truth, 10 times, with as much conviction as you can. Such as “I love puppies / kittens!”
8. Take note of how your body feels, what sensations are there?
9. What do you notice being different in your body sensations between the two?

Now, if this went well, you know the tell tale signs of when you are acting against your truth or making a compromise that might build resentment. Here’s an exercise to create compromises.

Have any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or comments on this article? Broken link? Wondering how to this can be applied, modified, or adapted to your polyamorous, swinging, kink/ BDSM, or otherwise interesting relationship? Feel free to reach out to us here.